Sunday, March 25, 2007

Hard Facts of Life

Hard Facts of Life
Its Saturday evening, I returned home after spending time with some of my friends. Have lost interest in Cricket world cup after another bad performance from INDIAN cricketers has almost put them out of the world cup. Only a miracle can make INDIANs proceed to the next stage and hoping that the miracle happens.

So I got a thought of writing something on few things that all of us face sometime in our life. First I am translating a famous kannada saying, which says that people may go any extent to get the 3 G’s, which are Girls, Gold and Ground (Land).We have seen so many wars, deaths for money, land and over girls. The first 2 thing’s :Gold and Land are the things which people may earn by their hard work and few people will be lucky enough to get it from their ancestors .But the 3’rd G (Girls) play’s an important role in a persons life, which only few lucky people get. You can hear a lot a great people saying that their Inspiration was their Mother or Wife. Women play a very important role in a mans life, as a person spends about 75% of his life with Women. It is mainly with his Mother till he gets married and then his Wife. Not to forget sisters, relatives and friends. Mother infact is considered equivalent to God.

Now I will come to the interesting stage in a person’s life, where he gets attracted to someone of the opposite sex. It can happen when a person is in his schooling, college or during his professional life. This is one transition in a person’s life which cannot be understood or described, as these thoughts vary from person to person.
Few questions which arise in the mind are:
1. Why does someone get attracted to someone?
2. What character in that person makes you get attracted to that person?
3. Is it something that happens without your knowledge?
4. Is it a feeling that cannot be controlled?
5. Does everyone at some stage in life get these feelings?
6. Will everyone be successful?
7. When do you face problem in deciding how to proceed with this new relationship
8. What will happen to people who fail in these?
9. How should I handle these situations?
10. Are you going to hurt the sentiments of your family members due to this new relationship?
11. Is the so called new person who just entered your life more important than your family members?
12. Can you go against your family members in order to build this new relationship?
13. Can I come out of this situation or should I continue.

And many more questions like these arise in our minds. Let me try to address few of these things in the way I think
People get attracted to someone, as it is Nature’s Law. Opposites always attract. It is very important for continuation of Life cycle.
People get attracted to someone by their beauty,character, personality, looks, intelligence or money. In some cases you cannot explain why you got attracted to that someone. There is no age bar or caste bar for these emotions to get developed.

Human mind is very tentative. You easily get attracted to something in an easy way. For example, you may like some movie song so much that you listen to the same time at least 10 times a day and even then you feel like listening to it again and again. The same thing applies when you get attracted to some person. You feel like seeing that person always, talking to that person and spending time with that person. If you re enjoying the company of that person and you just want that, then there is no problem. But we face problems when we try to possess that some one. We want that someone only for ourselves, that is when you are in deep trouble.
You may have some feelings for that some one, but does the other person also have the same feeling. If yes than what are the problems you may face if you go ahead with that relationship. There are so many questions and problems that you should face and overcome.
If the other person does not have the same feelings, then what do you do.
If you have some feelings for someone, how should you proceed and approach that person.
Before you proceed what are the things that you would like to know about that person.

I always feel that the best way to approach a person to whom you are attracted is through some common friend. You approach that person, make friendship with that person and know that person. Friend ship should be the beginning of any new relation ship. After becoming friends, you can understand that person very well and if you feel that there are some feelings even in the other persons mind, then go ahead. If you come to know that there is already someone in that person’s life then there is nothing wrong in continuing the friendship.

I remember a good caption for this situation
“When two friends fall in love, they know that they are made for each other
But when they fall apart from love, they realize that they want to keep each other forever.

Before you approach that person and think of committing to the new relation ship, I always feel that you should ask yourselves few questions.
What do you do if the person you approach, reject your proposal.
Are you fully committed to that new relationship?
Will this new relation ship be accepted by your family members?
If your family members do not accept this new relation ship, then can you hurt their sentiments and continue the relationship.
Is that new person who just entered your life more important than your family members, who have brought you up over all these years?
If your family members do not like this relationship, then do have the mindset to break relationship with them for this new relationship.
Is it possible for you to forget the new person and bring your emotions under control?

I have always felt that this is a state of mind, which a person can overcome by struggling a bit. You just need to get yourselves involved in some other activities and stop thinking a lot about this new relationship. There are many people who live happily, even after loosing their loved ones in accident or in other means. They will be in depression for some days, but time is a good healer. It will help you recover from any disastrous situation. So I feel sorrow for people who commit suicide or harm their loved ones, when their love fails. How can a person end his life or hurt the person whom they loved , when his love is rejected. If you have truly loved a person, then there is no way that you can hurt that loved one. Even by ending your life, you are not going to achieve anything. You are only going to bring sadness to your family members and loved ones. You should always face these situations and overcome victorious. This can be done by sharing your feelings with your friends or someone close to you. Get yourselves involved in some activity. Cultivate some habits to make sure that you are always involved in some activity and that you spend a lot of time with your family members or your friends.

I would like to share another good message which i had received:

When we were kids we were eager to grow up, to fall in love. Now we are grown up and now we realize that wounded knees were much better than broken Hearts.

Love is a great feeling, which infects every person at some stage in life. For someone it ends in a life long relationship, for some persons it just remains in their heart and for few unlucky persons, it breaks their heart. In any case we should never forget our values, culture and importantly we should not end up hurting ourselves, our family members or the person who accepts/rejects our love.

There were so many points which I thought of mentioning, but I finally ended up writing only this much. This is one topic where you can go on discussing and still you feel that there is lot more left to discuss.

“Love can make you happy, but often it hurts.
It is only special when you give it to someone who is really worth to it.”

Final Thought:
“Life is a journey where you meet many on the way,
Some may come near your heart and some may not:
But never be emotionally involved,
You’ll never know when you have to walk alone”

Your comments are most welcome.

10 comments:

Nagesh said...

Hey Harish(manmatha) ,
R u in LOVE with some one.yaaru a rathi.If this is true then U get the answers to the questions u got.

Harish said...

Hi Nagi,
This is a general topic, whcih i felt like writing. I am not putting any questions. I am pretty clear about things.
Go through the blog correctly and understand the context.
Thanks for ur comments.

Nagesh said...

hey Harish don't feel for that just kidding ,It's nice message to our age group,where many of them have spoiled their lives hurting many people,who has read this message never do that mistake and in turn strengthens human values.

Jatin said...

But never be emotionally involved, You’ll never know when you have to walk alone

I'll challenge you, you can never do this.

There will always be people you'll be emotionally attached to. It's impossible not to be emotionally involved with someone or something.

Infact emotions make your life worthwhile

S.P said...

Hi Harish,

I see a new Pramananda Devoties coming out from you :) Just joking good blog, Keep working on this kinds of topics

Harish said...

Jatin, thats a good comment.You cannot live without having emotional attachment in your life.I will make it more specific,never get emotionally involved until u get commited to someone or until you are in some form of relationship with someone. Get emotionally involved in 2 way relationship, not in 1 sided relationship.

Cauvery said...

SOS

TheTouch said...

hey harsih... good topic .. you covered almost all pros and cons in " falling in love".. what i feel is when we feel alone we depend on somebody who can give us good company .. after a good friendship, when we feel that we want to have that girl with us we end up proposing and rest is your luck.. but agree with Jatin's last statement
"
Emotions make your life worthwhile/colourful "

BUT these are nice experiences in life which we can't buy even we earn a lot as a software professional .. keep blogging ...

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